Elisha’s skill set #1

This is, no doubt, the first of a series of ‘learning episodes’ for Elisha. It remains to be seen whether it will be more of the “Spy Vs. Spy” sort, or the “Roadrunner and Coyote” sort (needless to say, I would be holding the ACME rocket in the latter). #1 The Whizz fake Naive New Father (NNF) opens (depressurizes) nappy and waits the all important few seconds for the onset of wet weather. Evil Genius (Child) plays along, with a controlled fusilade at 11 o’clock. NNF smiles at his own cunning, lowers the toilet paper shield and begins the now familiar routine of Child’s bottom region maintenance. Detecting that NNF has fallen for the feint, Child now unleashes the full power of a very armed and operational battl– bladder, this time at 1 o’clock. NNF, unarmed and unsuspecting, reaches for the only protection to hand: his hand. Child succeeds in soaking NNF, growsuit, singlet, new nappy, changing mat, beneath changing mat, and possibly influences floods in England. NNF begins mop up. Child encores with a geyser of partially digested breast milk and falls into a contented doze, his work done. NNF 0: Child 1

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