Elisha’s latest skill is quite a step up. So much so I have hesitated to document it, awaiting sufficient
evidence, and being also fearful of the operation of certain secret agencies (I’ve seen Mercury Rising). But, I must atlast certify that he has some sort of extra sensory perception.
We have noticed a progression to this uncanny behaviour.
A typical early scenario ran thus:
Child would be cycling through crying repertoire (A canon in tear minor).
NNF (or IWNM – Innately Wise New Mother), having found all of the previously erected mental barriers to this auditory assault breached by the onslaught, his/her will sapped, began to stir to Child’s aid.
As it was that these episodes most often occurred at night, it happened that the soft tread of be-ugbooted feet moving from the bed, or in the case of NNF, the confused blitherings and surprised grunts of pain and blind rendezvous with door frames (and in some cases, walls), would be sufficient to still the Child’s wail.
Now, I expect this from the cat. Cats are nocturnal creatures, if indeed any creature that sleeps 95% of the day could be said to be any sort of ‘urnal,’ and have incredible hearing. I don’t expect it from my human son. (Although, come to think of it, some early ultrasounds were not completely dismissive of a ‘dinosaur’ interpretation. Did dinosaurs have ESP? I digress…).
This trend has continued.
Swinging one’s legs out of bed stopped the wail.
Statements such as ‘Would you see to that Child of ours’ or ‘Arllgenuf..ut’ (translated “I’ll get it”) then became enough to staunch the flow.
And finally, the mere *thought* of attending the anguished tike’s side and he ceases bawling. He’s seeing into our very minds!
So there it is. There is only one rational explanation: Our Child is an alien.
That said, this obviously effects our intentions regarding his education. Subjects such as Geography, Science, Reading and the like will need to give way to Lottery Studies, Card Counting, and whether Mr Pookly Shanks sounds like a winner for the interdominion at Ascot on a Tuesday, etc.