Comic Relief

Tara discovered this note I scribbled a fair while ago with half a thought to blog it. See if I can provoke her into some activity…


This morning, while shaving, Elisha appeared by my side. The dawn’s light left only his silhouette framed in the en suite doorway. With scant warning, his (toy) chainsaw roared to life, he laughed maniacally, and yelled “I’m being a villain!” Then he began sawing my bottom off.

I’ve been reading the graphic novel Watchmen (which is both graphic and novel-like), so the question occurred to me–as pieces of me fell to the floor, apparently: If Elisha were a super-villain, what moniker would he take? The Merchant of Fear? The Nutty Chook?–Ah!, but of course: Random Boy. Whose powers include stultifying lumbriciousness,* able to leap whole universes of sense between sentences.

I guess his nemesis would be Obsessive Compulsive Man. Haven’t seen any of those around here. You?

* lum·bri·cious
Etymology: English (strine). Anecdotal. Believed to be derived from the term lumber, vaguely related to train tracks, which, in turn, were entirely unrelated to the topic at hand. Or possibly Latin, lumbus, relating to the lower back pain incurred by an audience awaiting a lumberer to quit babbling and make sense.
Date: circa 1995
: given to, marked by, tangent-like, or unpredictably off-topic interjections.
lum·bri·cious·ly adverb
lum·bri·cious·ness noun